Beware of Chuck!

I know many of you are already familiar of these jokes and “facts”. But i just wanted to choose a few that i really liked and kept me laughing at the office or even when I encounter them again anywhere in the net. enjoy!

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle — you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

These are favorites because I’m also a gamer!

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.